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[personal profile] kosherkola
What I Wish My Christian (and Atheist and Generally Non-Jewish) Friends Knew about Judaism Vol. 1 is dealing with a very important topic. That is, burgers. As a brief introduction to Jewish dietary laws, also known as Kashrut, I'd like to mention two big no-no's: one is pork, the other is eating milk and meat together. Various people observe this to different levels, like keeping 6 hours between eating meat and dairy. These people usually only eat kosher meat and kosher dairy anyway.

I'm not that strict with my observance of the kashrut, but meat and daily won't mix in the same meal for me. It just won't.

Just recently during my trip to Hungary, I ended up stopping at the fast food chain with the scary clown. The following conversation happened in Hungarian (and slightly paraphrased, as it was weeks ago).

Fast Food Worker with a Dolphin Tattoo on Her Hand: Hi, how can I help you?
Me: Hi, I'd like two hamburgers please.
FFWWADTOHH: Would you like cheeseburgers instead, they cost the same.
Me: No, thank you.
FFWWADTOHH: Would you like that in a meal with a small drink and fries.
Me: Sure, why not.
FFWWADTOHH: I can only get you hamburgers in meals if it's a Happy Meal.
Me: Uhm, do I look like someone who needs plastic toys? No Happy Meal, please.
FFWWADTOHH: So would you like to have a cheeseburger meal instead?
Me: No, no cheeseburger, please.
FFWWADTOHH: But we don't have hamburger meals.
Me: You know what? I'd like a cheeseburger meal, no cheese in the cheeseburger and a hamburger.
FFWWADTOHH: I never had a customer who didn't want cheese in their cheeseburger.
Me: ...

So rule number 2 when it comes to kashrut: we don't mix dairy with meat. And if you want to combine it with rule number 1: We don't eat cheeseburgers with bacon. Well, that's just a general rule, and I can't speak for other Jews who might or might not keep kosher.

So what else? G-d apparently has an issue with rabbit stew and seafood pizza, because hares and rabbits, juts like seafood (anything but scaled fish) are also not kosher. Really, any carnivorous animal isn't. But a safe bet: Coca Cola and Heinz ketchup in plastic bottles are kosher. So is Nutella sold in North America (and in Israel, of course). So fries made from scratch with Heinz ketchup and a coke with a jar of Nutella for dessert is a safe bet to feed your Jewish guest.

Or you can feed them hamburgers. No cheese. :)

Date: 2011-08-06 11:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
One burger, hold the cheese. :)
I would have sooo much trouble being Jewish. :o
Hugs, Jon

Date: 2011-08-06 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Well, many Jews absolutely don't care about keeping kosher...

Date: 2011-08-07 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am a bit surprised. :o
(deleted comment)

Date: 2011-08-06 05:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Welcome to my LJ! It is now my tertiary blog, so I haven't been around much either in the past 3 years.

Date: 2011-08-07 01:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
At least the fast food chain with the scary clown doesn't sell rabbit burgers :)

Kashrut is so illogical! (well, religions are illogical....:)

Date: 2011-08-07 09:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
How do you know? The meat pulp they use can be anything.

Date: 2011-08-07 09:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Well, I guess it's more like rat and mice and spiders :) I do wonder if spiders are considered kosher :P

Date: 2011-08-07 09:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Nope, they aren't. Neither are mice or rats. :P

Date: 2011-08-07 05:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hi there! I'm not wildly strict as I don't bother to keep separate dishes or have separate sinks, but I won't eat milchig and fleishig together either. And it makes sense too: that's a really good culture to grow bacteria in. And yes, eating carnivores: generally not a good idea with all the toxins.

I had a fish burger without cheese yesterday just because I don't like that orange stuff. And as for the whole avoiding pork/bacon thing, it's very hard here (NZ). Most sandwiches seem to contain it and when I go on courses or whatever, it's just easier and a lot safer (also given my fussiness about the quality of meat anyway) to say I'm vegetarian.

Still: I've had pizzas that had bacon on them when I've asked for not. I've been offered pumpkin soup with ham in it with the puzzled and plaintive response to my reaction: "But it is vegetarian; it's got pumpkin in it!"

[laughs at your last paragraph] Not this one! I don't like tomato sauce with chips, nor do I drink coke. But I did make hamantaschen with nutella this year. And were they good!

And oh! You're in Israel! I spent seven months there some years ago and loved it, and my sister was there for Pesach last year. [contemplates practising Hebrew on you but typing it is such a pain and it would be like talking to a five-year-old for you]

Date: 2011-08-07 09:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The vegetarian thing doesn't much work for me, either, when I'm in Hungary.

Haha, I've been in Israel about three years now. I start to get along conversationally, but I can barely read the language.

Date: 2011-08-07 10:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
When I was there I'd cheat and pick an old person and use Yiddish if I couldn't express what I wanted in Hebrew. I did a refresher class last year and it was surprising what came back to me. :-)

Rodney icon! [deploys one of own]

Date: 2011-08-07 05:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I usually hang out with younger people, who speak English, or with Anglos, so I hardly ever need to actually speak Hebrew. The green grocer and dairy shop I go to are owned by Hungarian olim, so I speak Hungarian with them. No one ever speaks to me in big stores anyway. :)

Date: 2011-08-08 06:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Cool! So there's hope if I go back! :-D

Date: 2012-11-08 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hey This is hard for me because I have never done anything like this.. but I have a huge crush on you. I have never been able to tell you for reasons which you would quickly identify as obvious if you knew who this was. I'm really attracted to you and I think you would be wanting to get with *Read FULL Card Here*


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